


Love Potions Aren't Real

by Darkflowerofheaven



Category: Bartimaeus - Jonathan Stroud
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nathaniel (Bartimaeus) Lives, Probably ooc, love potion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-07 01:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkflowerofheaven/pseuds/Darkflowerofheaven
Summary: Nathaniel believed in the unnatural, of course. He had to. He summoned spirits to his call and controlled them with ease. However, potions aren't a thing. More specifically love potions. They don't exist and are nothing more than a work of fiction. Even if they did exist, they wouldn't work on him, that's for sure.





	1. Chapter 1

A young man, no older than 18 sat at the darkened desk in his study. The windows behind him letting in rays of light from the blistering sun outdoors. Children ran around the streets, magicians and commoners alike walking to get to their designated area of the day. The birds were singing, the wind was flowing gracefully. There was peace in London, although it was uncertain a few months ago if that would ever happen again.

Not even three months ago there had been an incident regarding spirit and human hybrids, their leader Nouda bringing havoc where ever he dare took a step. Commoners died, magicians were forced to give up their bodies, it was a tragic day in London. If not for young John Mandrake, London would have ceased to be. The man had taken London's life in his hands, working alongside his most trusted Djinni to take down the treacherous monster. When the danger had been defeated, many had believed the hero to have died.

Instead he had been saved by the ancient items on his feet. He claimed he threw the staff at the demon, throwing his body to the wind and praying he would make it out alive. It was a miracle that he did such a thing. He had been found near a mountain of rubble, a woman having run forward to get him to safety. If not for the woman, he would have died due to blood lost. The hero had taken a terrible blow to the side.

In response to his efforts and bravery, a statue was erected in his honor and he was given the title of Prime Minister. He would rebuild the way magicians and commoners interacted, he would help patch the slavery demons would go through, wishing for them to be treated with respect and even worked together with other members in his council to bring back those who were sent to war.

The man laid back in his chair, taking a short breather away from his paperwork. His hair was darkened, cut into a short and messy fashion. (In response to this hairstyle, he credits the appearance to a Djinni of his, claiming it was his idea to trim it in such a way.) His outfit held nothing more than a white dress shirt, the top buttons being undone with no tie and a pair of black suit pants and polished dark shoes. His blue eyes, filled with knowledge and ambition, closed in exhaustion. He was tired from this last week's work. His eyes reopened, glancing over to the nearby couch and coffee table.

On the couch sat a young woman, around the same age as himself, and an Egyptian male. The young man narrowed his eyes at the Egyptian, usually they would look as if they were only 14, however recently they had taken care into aging their guise to be around the same age as he. The two sat close to one another, the woman writing stuff down into a book while the Egyptian oversaw her work. The woman was learning how to read and write in multiple languages, she had wanted to expand her knowledge so when she goes to travel, she would not be without a way to understand others.

The woman had darkened hair, which she had dyed a while ago due to a previous event in her life. Her eyes were tired from glancing too long at the book in front of her and her skin, although still worn and held some lines, looked fine. The young man found her very beautiful.

As the young man opened his mouth to address the two, a knock resounded at his door. The three in the study rose their eyes.

"Enter." The man called, his voice harsh and back straightened.

In stepped another young woman holding a briefcase and small package in her arms, her brown hair cut short and dark eyes looking attentive. The young man's posture slackened, now feeling relieved in knowing who it was.

"Good afternoon, Piper. I hope you had a pleasant sleep."

Ms. Piper gave a small nod with a smile. "Yes, I did. I hope you had one as well, Sir." She looked at the couch and its inhabitants. "I see Bartimaeus and Kitty are joining us today."

"Yes, if you may recall Ms. Jones wished to learn more languages so she may travel. So, I requested Bartimaeus to help teach her."

Kitty rolled her eyes at this. "I did not. You said it would do me some good to learn so I wouldn't look like a fool."

Ms. Piper let out a small laugh. "I seem to recall this, yes." She looked to her arms. "Apologies, sir. But I believe I have something you may wish to look at." She set down her briefcase and took a better hold of the small package in her arms. It was no bigger than a thick book.

"If you would open it, please?"

"Of course, sir." She began to unwrap the package, placing the wrapping next to her briefcase. It was a small wooden box with no inscription. She gently opened the box and narrowed her eyes. She reached inside and withdrew a small clear glass bottle, containing a pink liquid and a letter.

"It's nothing magical, if that makes you feel any better." Bartimaeus spoke, pointing at the bottle.

Ms. Piper placed the box down on the floor, taking care as to not drop the bottle or letter. She held the bottle up to her eye, peering at the liquid. "It's a very pretty liquid, Mr. Mand –"

The young man coughed loudly, cutting her off. He cocked an eyebrow, a small smile on his face. Ms. Piper turned a shade of pink, smiling herself.

"I apologize, Mr. Underwood."

"You know you are allowed to call me my name, correct?" The young man teased. "You are too formal at times, Piper."

"Says the one who speaks as if he's got a stick up his-"

"The commentary is unnecessary, Bartimaeus."

"Ooh, pardon me then."

Ms. Piper shook her head slightly. "Again, my apologies Nathaniel." She turned her attention back to the bottle, before walking forward and placing the item onto Nathaniel's desk. She read over the letter in her hands. "It appears to be a love potion."

"A what?" Bartimaeus stood up, nearly knocking Kitty over. The girl sent a glare the Djinni's way.

"Really now?" Nathaniel rose an intrigued eyebrow, reaching forward and taking the item in his hands. It felt cool to the touch.

"According to this," Ms. Piper continued. "It is a love potion that intensifies the romantic feelings a person already has for another."

The Egyptian boy let out a groan, throwing himself back onto the couch. "Well, that's no fun." He crossed his arms. "Love potions are usually made to force someone in love with you, not to make them fall more in love. Besides, it sounds to me as if you have to make sure they're in love with you to begin with in order to make it work."

Nathaniel gave a nod. "Quite. It's rubbish, not that it would work to begin with anyway." He placed the bottle down, picking up a piece of paper he had been reading over previously.

"Why wouldn't it work?" Kitty questioned, her interest piqued.

"Oh, come now, Kitty." Nathaniel started, lowering the paper. "You don't believe in that kind of thing do you? Love potions are nothing more than a work of fiction. They don't exist." He gestured to the bottle with his free hand. "That's probably nothing more than water and food coloring."

"That's not exactly true, Natty boy." Bartimaeus corrected. "Back in my days, visiting Sheba there were berries that could make you fall in love if you ate a certain amount of them."

"You're making that up."

"I would never." Bartimaeus sung out. "I tried the berries, they were quite tasty mind you."

"Now I know you're lying."

"How's that?"

"You can't eat anything that is not living. It'll mess with your natural essence."

"Ah. You remembered that."

"Do you take me for a fool, Bartimaeus?"

"You know the answer to that already."

Kitty rose herself from her place on the couch, walking over to the desk and taking hold of the bottle. "It seems interesting though, what if it does work?"

"There's more writing here on the letter, if you wish for me to read it Nathaniel." Ms. Piper informed him.

He rose a hand. "No need. All I wish to know is who sent this rubbish to my doorstep."

"There was no signage." Ms. Piper told him.

"Of course there wasn't."

"Look at that, Nat has a secret admirer." Bartimaeus teased. "Never thought I'd see the day. The person must be blind or mentally ill though."

"It wouldn't work anyway. I'm not in love with anyone."

"So you're saying the potion would work if you were?"

"No. Love potions don't-" Nathaniel cut off, letting out an irritated sigh, throwing down the paper. He grabbed the bottle out of Kitty's hand.

"Hey! I was looking at -" Kitty stopped short, watching as Nathaniel popped the top off the bottle. He rose it to his nose, taking a quick sniff. It smelt of roses.

"Hey now, let's think about this for once." Bartimaeus got off the couch, starting to make his way over the desk to join the others.

Nathaniel rolled his eyes. "Oh please. It won't work. Like I said before, Love potions are a work of fiction and even if it did work, it wouldn't because I'm not in love with anyone." He took a long look at Kitty, doubt filling his chest. He wasn't in love with anyone, but he knew he held strong affection for the woman. He prayed if this potion did work, that he wouldn't come off too strong.

"Nat, I really don't think-" Nathaniel ignored the voice, tilting back his head and gulping down the contents of the bottle.


	2. Chapter 2

At first, I hadn't believed it myself. I had assumed he were dead. (I mean you would too if you knew what was going through the prat's head when he was staring Nouda in the face.) However, not even a full month after his supposed death, I had been summoned. I had returned to earth, wearing his guise. (I wore it to honor his memory, seeing as I had been with him until the last moment, I believed I could wear this with confidence. I had taken the form of his older self, only I made him more intimidating and commanding by making him appear healthy. I used the effect of dark swirling tendrils to make my entrance even more impressive.) I had come face to face with my old master and wore a shocked (and slighty embarrassed. You would too, if you were caught in my position.) expression. At first my essence had swelled with relief and astonishment, but I quickly shifted these emotions into a mocking and annoyed front. Despite my commentary, he had smiled at me, voicing he was "Happy to see me too".

After a light banter, he had informed me of the reasons he had summoned me. First and foremost; to tell me he was alive, enough said. Second; he wanted me to join him approaching the council, in which he had now been elected the head of. (This didn't surprise me, considering how a majority of their pathetic government had been either eaten or killed.) I was surprised at the notion, seeing as the only time I was allowed near such people was when I had a report on something they had demanded I do. I agreed, curious, but cautious. (Sure, Nat and I had some history and the last bit of said history was a bit nicer than the rest, but he was still a magician, through and through.)

My arriving at the council was more welcomed than I once thought. Those remaining in the government were mostly low-ranking magicians. (You could tell this due to the fact that, instead of limousines, there were normal automobiles parked outside.) However in addition to them, I saw a few faces who did not hold a hint of corruption. This meaning;

They were commoners.

There were commoners in the London government who did not hold a speck of magic on them and among them was also none other than Kitty Jones. (Although she was not sitting in the weird circle of the council, she was to the side and holding a small teacup at the time.)

Another thing I noticed was that with every magician, there was a spirit next to them. Not in pentacles either, they were all either perched on their master's shoulder or in a chair next to them. At the time I was in my preferred form, Ptolemy (Having changed out of Nathaniel's. The world's already bad off with one of him.) and, again, was perplexed when Nathaniel offered me to sit in a chair beside him.

It turns out this meeting of the council was to discuss how to reshape laws regarding the slavery of spirits. Sadly, it came to reason that the slavery must still go on. After all, our help was highly valuable. (Obviously.) They discussed possible alternatives, such as not summoning the same spirit more than once (This got shot down immediately by quite a few people, my master included. Not that this was surprising.), only summoning spirits if completely necessary (Which would be fine, until someone asked for what definition would be used for a necessary task. Because of this, it got shot down due to no one wanting to lose their few brain cells.), and some other methods that I failed to pay attention to. (I should have been paying attention, as I was allowed to give my two cents due to these laws pertaining to my kind. However, more often times than not the magician's would talk so much I just wanted to move onto the next order of business.) Finally, they had decided on a small set of rules that I found acceptable. These being; A spirit can only be summoned every other week (With a limit of only 3 Djinni, 2 Imps, and 4 Foliots.), each time a spirit is summoned the magician in question is required to record it and submit it to the Spirit Handler (A new position they created just for these laws.), each time a spirit is dismissed the magician in question is required to record it and submit to the Spirit Handler, and last, but not least, each magician is allowed to hold 1 personal servant, who would then be allowed to be summoned for two weeks at a time, (with the week in-between for resting, of course) in order to do this the master and servant must agree to it.

To be honest there was only one problem I had with the laws. Which was an obvious problem, to be completely truthful. This problem, ladies and gents, was the fact that they're magicians. They would no doubt lie about how long a servant had been in service and the like. The spirits in the council (including myself) brought up this problem, however they had told me we were allowed to speak up if we were treated unfairly in the future. I planned to keep this in mind, just in case.

With these rules in set, the next few months weren't terrible. Nathaniel kept his word and summoned/dismissed his spirits in accordance to the ruling. The work he made me do wasn't bad either. It was pleasant compared to stealing items or eavesdropping on other magicians. The most he had asked I do was help teach Kitty how to learn certain languages. She wasn't a horrid student, but due to her trip to the other place this made her catch onto topics a bit slower than before. (I would assume this was what hindered her, unless being in the company of magicians hurt her in some way. Which I wouldn't blame her for.)

Of course what I just told you has nothing to do with what is currently happening. (I had figured an explanation of what had happened in the past was necessary, but perhaps not.) Currently, my master was indulging in a ridiculous notion that could do more harm than good. Honestly, who would down a supposed love potion? I hadn't lied about what I said earlier. (Okay, so maybe I did a little, but I assure you there were berries that were told to make you fall in love with someone. This was nothing more than rumors, I'm afraid. The berries provoked dopamine and other chemicals in the human body to spark intensely and caused a person to also feel relaxed and out of it. In simple terms, the berries were a kind of aphrodisiac. They weren't very strong, unless you consumed a large amount. I was told they tasted quite delicious, not that I would know.)

Sure, he had said he didn't believe in such a thing, but with the way he had looked at Kitty I could tell he wasn't too sure. I would have tried harder to stop him, if I weren't a little more than curious. (I'm always game for seeing Nathaniel make a fool of himself, no matter how.) So, the three of us watched as my master downed the bottle in one go. (Which was impressive all on its own. I didn't think Nat had it in him to down anything that swiftly.) He did this so quickly, I figured he would choke.

Nathaniel took the bottle away from his lips, grimacing at the (I would assume) taste and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He lowered the now empty bottle, placing the top of it to the other side of his desk.

The three of us waited.

"Nathaniel?" Kitty whispered out. "How do you feel-" She cut herself off, as Nathaniel's eyes had moved toward her. His eyes trailed up and down her body, before finally resting them on her widened eyes.

It was deathly quiet in the room. The air was tense and I could sworn Kitty's face was becoming brighter by the second. (I could even see a sweat drop falling from her.) Her body tensed up, waiting for the magician to speak.

We saw Nathaniel close his eyes with a sigh and shake his head. "Nothing." He spoke, as if slightly disappointed, but behind it was a touch of relief. "See? Nothing more than rubbish."

Kitty's body slackened and Piper placed a hand over her heart in relief. I rolled my eyes. I should have known it wouldn't have worked. Perhaps the boy was right for once and it really was nothing more than colored water.

"I thought as much." I agreed as I moved closer to the desk. I was already pretty close to begin with, but I had wanted to inspect the bottle before he had forced it down. So I went to where the bottle was and went to grab for it. At the same moment, I suppose Nathaniel had wanted to put the top back on and also began to reach for it. Doing this caused our fingertips to brush ever so slightly, which should have meant nothing.

Yet when this happened, Nathaniel's eyes had widened and snatched his hand away so quickly you'd have assumed I set it aflame. I blinked and cocked an eyebrow in response. He was now holding his hand close to his body, his cheeks brightly lit and his eyes cast to the side of the room.

"What's with you?" I questioned.

"I, um…" Nathaniel stammered (Which was an oddity all in itself.) "You shocked me."

This was one of the weakest excuses I've ever heard. Anyone who had ever been shocked (This kind of shock being the sort when you've conducted enough electricity somehow and accidently sent a shock to another person.) would know that the other person would feel the shock as well. It's also, at times, audible. Nothing of the sort had happened.

I didn't bother responding, instead favoring to take hold of the bottle to inspect it. Nothing special, just like I had assumed. I hadn't sensed magic on or in it (I was worried that someone might have bottled a Djinni or some other type of spirit and tried to make Nathaniel release it.) and the bottle was your standard type of glass.

Piper and Kitty had watched all of this with an amused eye, although I hadn't a clue as to why they were amused. All I know was as I inspected the bottle, they shared a knowing glance. I'd have to ask later.

Nathaniel let out a cough from his position, finally having collected himself. "Now that that is over and done with." He put on a business like expression. (Meaning he looked like he wanted to visit the nearest lavatory.) "Is there anything on the agenda for today, Piper?"

Piper nodded, grabbing at her suitcase and lifting it. "We were supposed to go and report to the nearest Sprit Handler. You recently dismissed the Imp Ajax last night and I have recently summoned the Djinni Xaphan."

(Ajax was one of the few unfortunate imps to be placed into my master's scrying glass. Thanks to these laws, Nathaniel had to employ a new one every week. There was hardly a shortage of imps though, so Nathaniel hadn't needed to worry.)

Nathaniel nodded, lifting himself out of his seat, and going to move around his desk. He chose the side where he would be closest to me and noticed immediately. He let out a small sound and quickly maneuvered to go around the other side to avoid me.

Which was odd and a little annoying. What did I do? I hadn't done anything yet today. (Now if we were talking about yesterday, then I'd have done plenty. Remind me to tell you another time.) He was fine with being near me a couple hours ago.

"Very well." Nathaniel said. "It is warm today so I will not require my jacket. Since it is so nice, shall we go for a walk, Piper? Some sun would be good for the both of us."

Piper nodded in response, a smile gracing her features. She gestured to Kitty and myself. "Will they be joining us on our walk today?"  
Nathaniel's face returned to a small shade of pink. "They do not need to and I am sure they need to continue with their-"

"I would love a bit of fresh air, actually." Kitty interrupted, her mouth a mischievous smile. "Bartimaeus was telling me just a few minutes ago that he was wanting some as well."

"I was?" This resulted in her sharply elbowing Ptolemy's side. I exhaled through my teeth. "I mean, yes. I am in dire need of some fresh air. Your office is a bit stuffy, Nat. Don't know how you deal with it."

Nathaniel nodded, deciding not to look in our direction for some reason. (I hadn't a care to know why, but I was getting more and more annoyed by the fact he was avoiding my existence.)

"Let's be off then." Nathaniel sighed, moving to the door with Piper and Kitty right behind him.

"Wait." I ordered. The three turned to me (Piper and Kitty looked me dead on, Nathaniel had simply turned around by only a fraction to acknowledge me.) "I'm not in the mood for a stroll."

Nathaniel perked up a little at this, his body moving around more to look at me. "You do not need to-"

"Oh, I still want to go outside. Don't get me wrong."

"Then what are you-"

I cut him off by turning into a small sand cat and leaping onto his shoulders. At this he let out a small cry, his cheeks flaring once more as I curled myself around his shoulders, circling his neck.

"W-What are you doing, Bartimaeus?!"

"I want fresh air, but I've not the desire to walk."

"Get off me!"

"What? You haven't cared before." (This was true. Perhaps years ago he would have, but recently he hadn't minded if I took refuge on his neck while he went on his walks. There was even one time it started to rain while we were out and he suggested I take refuge in his coat.)

"I-It's warm outside." He explained. "You'll make my neck sweat."

"Oh, he's not hurting anyone, is he?" Kitty defended, reaching forward and petting my fur. "Let him sit there. It's not terribly warm outside to the point he'll cause you heat stroke."

Nathaniel probably had a comeback, however I took that time to tickle his neck with my tail. I saw his lips purse at this, taking a sharp inhale through his nose. I could feel his resolve faltering, before he finally gave in.

"Fine…Let's just go."

I was still annoyed with my master, but at least he had stopped complaining and could let us move on with the day. With Nathaniel finally giving up, the four of us was on our way…With Kitty and Piper smiling at each other again with that knowing glance of theirs.


End file.
